Apr 22, 2015

motherhood // Navy at 4 months

Oh sweet goodness, our little baby girl is four months old.  I feel like four months means that you're really, officially out of the new born stage and ouch. It kinda hurts to think about that. I remember the early days with a misty-eyed nostalgia already, as crazy as that sounds. They were so sweet and so sacred. And raw, too. Fumbling our way through the first steps of parenthood, bleary eyed and sleep deprived. My body healing from the physical challenge of my life, my spirit bursting with pride and a new found sense of self assuredness from rising to meet that challenge. All consuming love like I've never known, and overwhelming responsibility that was exactly that…overwhelming. 

For all its ups and downs, those first couple months felt like the honeymoon stage of parenthood. We were caught up in the whirlwind of new parenthood and pretty much nothing else mattered. I remember being discharged by our midwives when Navy was about six weeks old and though they were so gentle and patient in wrapping up our postnatal care, I couldn't help but feel like we had been swiftly ushered out the door of the coziest newborn bed and breakfast when in our hearts, we weren't ready for the vacation to end. So. I decided then and there to savour the newness of the experience that remained in my heart and held on to the "newborn" stage a little longer. Sure, we got out and saw friends many days of the week. Antisocial, we are not (haha). But I didn't rush back to real life, to sleep schedules, to meal planning, to trying to sneak a little work in here and there during naps. No. We relished in our baby honeymoon a little longer and it. was. glorious. 

And now, here we are. With a little four month old daughter and life as parents is starting to feel more and more normal. The honeymoon, insofar as you'd mark it on a calendar, is behind us. But the very best parts of it…it's essence… lingers like a fragrance in the air. It was a season for me to learn to be present and to learn to be still. To not worry so much about the "to-do's'' and the "should do's" but to savour the "probably won't happen again"s and the "this is what life is all about"s. 

We're finding a happy balance these days, and I am intensely grateful for the collected wisdom I've received that decided to take up permanent and unflinching residence in my sometimes overachieving and stubborn heart; it is a wisdom that guides me as I try, moment by moment, to be the best mama I can be. 


Navy, you are a spicy, energetic, seemingly extroverted (wonder where you get that from ;) happy little girl! You are rolling around these days and not just back and forth. Oh no. You've determined that rolling is a means of transportation and you are going places! I have a feeling you plan to keep us on your toes. You insist on standing on our laps…very little sitting for you! You Jolly Jump and Exer-saucer as long as we let you. And then, when we pick you up, you insist on Jolly Jumping some more in our arms. 

You have energy for days, and because you're rarely cranky, I sometimes forget you're such a young baby and you need your naps. These days I'm focusing a bit more on making sure you get your precious sleep, whether in my arms, in your stroller on our long dog walks or in your beloved swing.

We're back out walking with Lincoln daily now, and you love our walks. Most of the time you're in the stroller, but recently I've started wearing you in your carriers occasionally. You seem to really like them, most especially when you are facing outwards. Hello extraverted tendencies! :) 

You speak in a variety of voices these days. Sometimes soft coos, sometimes croaky squeals and more recently bubbles with sounds. You smirk when you blow bubbles, like you know how cute you look. And cute you are, little lady.

You follow us around the room from your exer-saucer and jolly jumper. You reach out for toys with both hands. When we're out at the dog park lately, you grab your feet with each hand. It's very yogic of you ;) You light up when you see Lincoln coming over to give you kisses and your eyes flutter with delight as he does. It blesses me to no end to see how tender and affectionate he is with you, and how much you seem to enjoy his adoration. You will be great friends. 

You've started playing with us, and that has just got to be the cutest! We'll kiss your neck or pretend to gobble up your hands and you throw your neck back or extend your hands up like you want more. It is so rewarding to see that little smile stretch across your face because of something we've done. 

You absolutely melt our hearts and we fall more in love with you each day. What a special little soul you are. 

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