Jan 17, 2015

motherhood // Navy at 1 month


Our little Navy girl is one month old as of last Monday and I can hardly believe that much time has already passed. This first month with her has been nothing short of extraordinary on so many levels. The first few days were a high like I've never experienced. Thank you, body, for all that post-delivery oxytocin ;) I think I stayed awake for three days straight just soaking in every detail…reliving the total magic of her birth, studying her brand new little body, looking over at Ryan who knows how many times to ask him 'did we seriously just have a baby and is she seriously right here in my arms?!'. Honestly those first few days were total magic. Transformative in a way I could never have anticipated, despite how hard I tried to imagine. 

Since those first few days, we've had so many milestones. Uncontrollable crying because I've never known this kind of love and I'm positively overwhelmed by it's purity and goodness? Check. Uncontrollable crying because I've never been so humbled by such an emotional and challenging new experience? Check. Jumping for joy when this tiny little person poops? Check. Jumping for SO MUCH JOY when she smiles those perfect little gummy smiles at you? Check! Night time naps for me while Ryan tags in on cuddle duty? Check. Nursing in mall parking lots? So. Many. Checks. My heart melting into a puddle every night when Ryan comes home and can't wait to hold his little baby girl and tell her how much he loves her? Check. Feeling so grateful for time with my mom and being overwhelmed by how much she must love me because of how much I love Navy and feeling like for the first time… I really get that. CHECK. Several dinner dates out with Ryan while Navy slept in her carseat beside us? Yay for those checks! Bursting with a little bit of new mom pride pulling into my garage after Navy and I successfully completed our first full day on the road to visit my Beppe (Grandma) out of town? Check. And a little more uncontrollable crying because it's all just so wonderful and new and overwhelming and challenging and indescribable and all consuming and who knows what else but its all just sooooooo good and soooooooo much? Check check check. 

In some ways this last month feels like it's flown by. But when I stop and really reflect on it, I'm entirely delighted by what we've accomplished. While I spent the majority of most days at home, resting, healing and getting to know our little girl I feel like we also managed to squeeze in a lot of 'maybe we're getting the hang of this' firsts. And that is super encouraging to look back on. We really don't want to rush this stage, so I'm not feeling any pressure to get back to regular life at this point. And yet, the odd 'normal life' thing we've peppered in has felt like a total triumph funnily enough. Sneaking out to five guys to grab a burger. Enjoying a 30 minute soak in the tub at night while Ryan cuddles Navy. Grabbing a coffee with a girlfriend. Spontaneously deciding to go out for pizza at 7pm. Roadtripping to meet the great grandparents. Sneaking in the occasional mini walk with Ryan, Navy and Lincoln, basking in this unseasonably warm winter weather and soul soothing sunshine. All these things that used to be routine and were too easily taken for granted have felt like luxuries this past month, with little Navy being so new. And for that reason, they've become sweeter than I could have ever thought possible. 

When I look back on this first month with our baby girl, I'm going to remember these things. I'm going to remember that this was the most joyful, emotional, challenging, exciting and positively beautiful month of my life. I'm going to remember that life slowed down, that my heart grew in ways I couldn't imagine and that life had never felt so sweet or so full of potential. 

NAVY AT ONE MONTH

Little Navy! My how you've changed since that Friday morning we locked eyes for the very first time. Even then, straight out of the water you were strong enough to do a push up on my chest and look me and your dad. I'll never forget that perfect moment. And since your birthday you've been searching us out ever since. At first, a bit fuzzy like you were looking around us but not right at us. But in the last couple weeks it's amazing how much more you see. You look right at us, and even track another person as they come into your field of view. 

You alternate between a cute furrowed brown and the most adorable gummy smile as you learn to flex all those sweet little face muscles of yours. You smile with your whole face and whoever the lucky recipient is of that smile registers pure joy on their face in response. Honestly, if I could, I'd film every person's reaction as they see you smile at them. That *might* come close to depicting what an incredible joy you are and what joy you bring to those around you. 

One of our favourite things is when you smirk at us like you've got a little secret and then you burst into the happiest, gummiest smile that lights up your entire face. We could just about fall off our chair when you do it! 

You coo and 'speak' sooooo much these days. I can't believe how vocal you are. We love to listen to you as you tell us your little newborn stories. You swing your arms and kick your legs with such strength for a newborn, giving great animation to your storytelling. In the mornings, you grunt as you wake up and it's just the cutest thing. A gentler wake up call for me than crying, so thank you for that ;) And lately, when someone else is holding you, you're even turning your head when I start speaking. It's humbling and heartwarming to think that you're learning my voice and that it comforts you.  

Navy, we are amazed by you and we love you more than we could ever say!

4 comments:

  1. So cute Carli! She really does light up the room! She is such a sweet baby girl. I won't forget that night at your house while watching football she gave me a smile! It was the cutest thing ever!!

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    1. Her smiles are the best, aren't they?! Oh I just love them and I love how much they seem to make others so happy.

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  2. Warmest congratulations on this new chapter in your life! I'm a friend of Meagan Lamont's and stumbled onto your blog through hers. I hope it's not too strange having a complete stranger compliment you - but your journey into motherhood sounds so fulfilling and your outlook on life is very inspiring! All the best to you and your newest addition to a lovely family!

    Stephanie Fowler
    www.designbystreetlight.com

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    1. It's not strange at all Stephanie! Thanks for taking a moment to say hi and for the very sweet compliments. I'm glad you found us :)

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