Feb 15, 2015

motherhood // Navy at 2 months

This motherhood thing is something else I tell ya. I mean people try to tell you. They try. They really do. But until you're immersed in it yourself you just can't know, I don't think. I mean I didn't, thats for sure. It's like this heightened awareness I have, every waking minute. An awareness of this little person who is both brand new and familiar all at once. It's a love like I've never known. Gratitude so abundant I almost feel heavy from it. Heavy in a good way, but also heavy in a real, palpable way. To be entrusted with this little person's life, her sweet little life that formed inside me…I mean how do you even begin to comprehend the magnitude of that? I'm not sure I'll ever fully, but I do my best to. To really be present and aware of the exquisite blessing of experiencing life alongside this little person. And already in doing so, though I was so incredibly happy before she arrived, she has introduced me to a new kind of joy and my heart has learned there is an even deeper depth to which it could love.


Navy, you are incredible! This past month it seems like you've truly woken from your much needed newborn slumber. You're so alert and so interactive. You return a smile whenever you're given one. Even mid-cry, you'll stop in your tracks and smile with everything you have. Mom said the other day, that your smile reminded her of that line from Eat Pray Love, when the Balinese healer tells Liz to smile from her liver haha. To feel the smile from deep inside herself, not just on the exterior. Well I have to agree with mom, you totally smile from your liver! You smile with your whole body and your whole heart. And let me tell you, there is no better medicine in the world than being on the receiving end of one of your megawatt smiles. 

When you're not smiling (which is rare, by the way :), you sometimes have this pensive, semi-amused look as you regard certain things…just like you're dad is so known for! It's almost like you know I'm making an absolute fool of myself as I make faces to try to get you to smile. More recently, you've been using that expression as you register my (signature, so I'm told ;) messy top knot teetering on top of my head. I swear you even let out your first little giggle looking at it the other day! So often over our many years together, while you're dad and I have been chatting, I've noticed his gaze float up above my eyes and settle on my gravity defying 'do haha. He always does it with a smirk because he swears he likes my hair that way, but that doesn't stop him from sassing me about it from time to time. And here you are, coming by that same sense of humour genetically. It's too hilarious. You look so much like me as a baby and you act so much like your dad. We can't get over what a wonderful mix you are. 

You're sleeping so well at night these days. About 5 hour intervals. You're also incredibly strong! You always want us to hold you sitting up so you can look straight at us or facing out from our bodies so you can take in everything around you. When people try to hold you like a little newborn, in the crook of their arm with you on your back, you tell them right away you'd rather be upright by doing a little sit up. It is hilarious! Inevitably, they're reaction is always 'she's so strong and sooooo smiley!' Even in the stroller lately, you want to cover off so you can watch me while we stroll about. Sometime's I'll look down and you're just smiling away at me and my knees nearly buckle because I can hardly stand how cute and how joyful you are. 

At around 5 weeks, you started to mimic me and I just about fell off my chair! I was making oooh sounds in front of you and all of a sudden your lips stared to purse and your eyes got all watery and red like you were concentrating harder than you every had before. A couple more ooh's from me and you mustered up your first oooh!! Your sweet little voice was so raspy and warm I burst into tears instantaneously. From that night on, you've mimicked me or your dad for several minutes a night. Your little eyes sparkle as you interact with us and we're just beside ourselves to see you communicating with us! More recently, around 8 weeks you started to sing! At night, your dad and I will turn up the music and sing with you while you lay on your playmat. It takes a couple minutes but sure enough, you start oooooh-ing your little heart out, connecting ooooh's to sound like song. You even throw in a giggle here and there, and of course, I am reduced to tears all over again. So many tears of joy for you, sweet girl :)

You're growing and changing everyday little girl but thankfully you've decided there's one newborn habit you'd like to keep around for a while. Every morning you still take a 2-3 hour nap on my chest and I look forward to it like Christmas morning. There is nothing sweeter than seeing you peaceful and happy, enveloped in my arms. 

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