motherhood // pregnancy

Left: 10 weeks    Right: 29 Weeks

Hmmmm. How to put into words what this experience has been like so far? She'll be here before we know it and like so much in life, I imagine it might be hard to remember exactly what this felt like if I don't try and capture my feelings at this given moment. So here are the best words I can muster. 

Awe. More than anything, I'm in awe. As I type this, she's tap dancing away in my belly. Flipping around, pushing and nudging, squishing my belly up on one side and out on the other…I'm so aware of her. I keep thinking how incredible it will be when she's here in my arms. But the same little girl is here right now… just, in my belly. How absolutely amazing is that? Sure, I don't yet know the features of her face or her little body but already I'm getting a glimpse into her essence and that just has me perpetually in awe. I tell Ryan often about the little antics she's up to. Text him updates when he's out of town. Doing my best describe what I'm feeling and what our little lady is up to. He always responds with such enthusiasm and interest. His genuine desire to participate in this experience continuously warms my heart. What a joy parenthood with him will be.

I find myself thinking about a lot of the 'bigger picture' things vs. the checklists one might find in all those pregnancy preparedness handbooks. Sure those checklists warrant a thought here and there but its things like thinking about who she'll be that have my heart captivated these days. Who will she be? I look at Ryan, myself, our family and our friends. Each person so unique. No one else like them. And here comes little baby girl. Completely new and never before seen or encountered. Her face, her heart, her mind…. a little blend of Ryan and I, a little personality unique like no other. So monumental when you think about it, really. And while I wouldn't wish a moment of this time pass by faster than it already is, I'm positively beside myself with excitement to meet this little lady of ours. 

Physically, I've changed quite a bit over the last few weeks. Baby is growing so much! She moves around often and noticeably which I'm trying to really be mindful of and enjoy. Soon she won't have nearly as much room to attempt these kinds of acrobatics ;) As for overall comfort, I feel like I'm fairing pretty well. The second trimester I felt quite normal, just that I was growing a bit in the midsection. Reaching the third trimester, I would say that was the first time I started feeling quite pregnant. Baby's movements are regular and strong, sitting up to get out of bed has become a bit of a maneuver and turning around quickly to look at something has me sometimes feeling like I've pulled an ab ;) Yep, I would venture to say pregnancy is feeling rather real these days. Thankfully still gentle overall though and for that I remain grateful. 

So far, I'm loving this experience. I'm amazed by it really ♡