motherhood // Willa at 1 Year

On October 24th, 2017 we celebrated 1 year with sweet Willa in our arms and in our life. It's true what they say, it's impossible to imagine life without her in ours now. She entered this world gracefully and peacefully and she's been as jovial and easy going nearly every day of her life so far. In the earliest months, the only challenge we really experienced was the reflux she struggled with. But thanks to our fantastic family doctor and the paediatrician he referred us too, we were able to get that under control around 8 weeks. Beyond those few challenging weeks, she has truly been the happiest, most easy going baby! 

She rolled at 3 months, started crawling at 7, standing and exploring with assistance at 9.5 and walked at 11! She says Mama, Dada, Navy, hi, doggie, kitty, fishy and most specifically likes to say hi with any of the other aforementioned words as her subject :)  She is a sight to behold, toothless and only 16.5 lb. walking around this world independently and with great excitement and wonder. We are routinely asked by curious bystanders how old this tiny, walking child is. She is moving around, talking, gesturing and communicating with brilliant aptitude these days which is just made more comical and intriguing by her truly petite size. 

Willa you are perfectly made and genuinely loved, deeply and wholeheartedly, for exactly who you are. With each day that passes we are even more grateful for the opportunity it is to know you, to guide you and to love you without reservation. Know that you deeply belong, both to yourself and in our family. We can't wait to see what this next year holds for you. We love you with everything we've got, baby girl ❤︎

Learning how to blow feathers across the room. Might be the cutest thing I've ever witnessed haha. 

The day we found out we were expecting little Willa, Valentine's Day 2016. Navy was 13 months. This whole day I was just in complete awe that in less than a year, we would have two babies to love on. So incredibly blessed. 

Family portrait, look at our happy grins!! We were so excited about baby #2, sweet Willa.

1 Mama + 2 babies ❤︎

Seeing things clearly

Both of the girls are asleep right now and I feel like jumping from one task to the next, knowing there's so much to do, so little time and this brief moment where my hand's aren't full and I might actually be able to make some progress. I've got this opportunity to really focus, but it's rarity has me almost frozen in response. So instead of tackling a task uninterrupted, I find myself scrolling through pictures from the last two months and feeling all the feelings. While doing so, I stumbled upon these three pictures from the first 3 days little Willa was in our world. And my goodness, seeing them just makes my heart burst! I mean honestly, what else matters besides this? These two girls. Ryan. Lincoln. My sweet little family. My whole heart and my greatest adventure. I'm feeling such clarity tonight towards what really, really matters thanks to these photos. Sometimes it just takes a quiet minute of neglecting the to-do list to realize the real to-do's, the ones we'll actually remember and the ones that will matter in the long run, are being done so very well indeed.

Me and my girls when little Willa was 3 days old.

Willa, Ryan and I the day she was born.

I will forever love this picture. My sweet friend Crystal took it of Navy while they were out on a walk the morning Willa was born. Her beloved bunny, her crossed little hands, her sweet innocent face, it all just makes my heart ache with love for her.  This was such a big day for her, the day she became a big sister. And she has been a magnificent one in every way.

motherhood // Willa at 1 Month

Photos by Roz Edge ❤︎

I just reread the post I wrote after Navy's first month. Cuuuuuuue the waterworks. Here I sit, nearly two years later, a more seasoned mama of two with a lot more wisdom than I had back then but mountains yet to learn, I'm certain. I find the powerful love for Willa is the same as I felt towards Navy, even considering the climate of my life is so very different. I'm mama to two now. Two girls, at different stages in life. And yet, I remain just one person; one person with a heart that's doubled in size but still, only two hands. Earnestly, albeit clumsily, I find myself learning new skills moment by moment. Learning how to prioritize, how to give equal volumes of love just in different ways and at different times. It's the most incredible, heart expanding, mind challenging learning curve I've ever been on and I just could be more grateful to be experiencing this.

One daughter, my sweet Navy girl, is talking with her words upon words these days, exuding more zest for life than I can keep up with .... and yes, certainly exerting equal amounts of that infamous toddler spice to round things out (read: 'litigators should take a lesson from her on negotiation' or 'pass me alllllll the coffee' any will do ;). She is wild and loving, tender-hearted and fiercely determined. But more than anything, she craves and thrives on independence. Everything is 'me do it' these days, even when she really can't and her 'doing it' means we're going to be kissing it 'all better' shortly after, as a result. She is the brightest light and I am certainly better for knowing her and parenting her.

My other baby girl is so new. Only 6 weeks old and the most precious gift! Another unique soul who we get the blessed honour of getting to know. Willa has been a peaceful and easy-to-soothe baby so far, just like her sister was. I'm loving co-sleeping with her and am finding it to be an excellent solution to the sleepless nights that usually accompany this newborn season. I co-slept with Navy from when she was about 1 month old to 4.5 months old and loved it too. Will Willa I started when she was about 4 days old and have been loving it ever since. She usually sleeps one 6 hour stint from 9pm -3am before nursing, and then nurses twice between 3 am and 8/9 am. We're in a really good rhythm and I certainly can't complain about sleep given how well she's doing with it so far.

From weeks 1-3 little Willa snoozed most of the time, quite contentedly. But around 3.5 weeks she had a couple fussy days where she cried a lot and was only soothed by nursing or being held and bounced. I remember Navy behaving identically at 3.5 weeks too, which is so amazing that they are behaving so similarly at this point. Anyway, as I suspected, that fussiness lifted about 5 days in and just like Navy, Willa kind of 'woke up' after the fussiness passed. SO much more time awake, tracking us with her eyes, focusing on us and on objects for long periods of time and even some baby smiles!! I could just fall over when she smiles. It is the most amazing feeling, seeing her register your face and respond with joy in the way she is able.

In terms of the rest of the family, Navy can't get enough of Willa. Most of the day she plays contentedly, with a drive-by kiss or 'love you baby seesta' as she's moving between activities. She loves to tell us 'how tiiiiiiny' baby sister is or how much she loves her. But perhaps the most heartwarming thing she does, is tell everyone else around us about her baby sister. Even Santa haha! Her first time sitting on Santa's lap she took the time to tell him all about her baby sister, and point us out in the crowd. No discussions of presents occurred, just Willa chat. Be still my heart. Seeing the one little person we made be so excited about the other person we made? Nooooooothing better.

Ryan is eager to get home after work these days and first plays with little Navy for a bit before bed. She can't wait to see him and their reunion is always a sight to behold. Then, once Navy is in bed he's always diligent and excited to cuddle little Willa. It's nice for me to have a moment to myself and watch him love on his baby girl too.

Lincoln absolutely adores Willa & Navy. Navy and him are playmates these days. Meaning he lays patiently while she plays furiously around him and on him, non stop. As for Willa, he showers her in kisses, especially when she is being changed. He honestly treats her like a baby pup. He wants to bathe her I swear haha. We let him get his kisses in within reason, as we love how tender he is with the girls and never want to discourage such sweet and appropriate behaviour.

So far, life as a family of four plus our furball has been so incredibly sweet. Of course, there have been lots of challenging times over the last month and a bit, as is to be expected. We're learning a lot, tired of course, and normal life just keeps clipping right along. So this isn't to say that everything has been effortless and easy. It's just been *so good*, despite the incredible amount of effort required of us. And the joys of this journey and the love we are feeling just far outweigh any of the challenges. Feeling so grateful for this family of mine. Grateful to spend my days loving on them.

motherhood // Navy at 1 Year

Our sweet little girl is already 1! It's hard to believe we've already enjoyed one year with her in our lives. Harder to believe that she turned one 2 months ago (!!) and I am just now finding a moment to write about this sweet milestone. Life has been busy, but good, and we are grateful. 

I was so emotional leading up to Navy's first birthday. Something about closing a chapter and moving on from infancy and into baby/toddlerhood had me feeling so conflicted. That push and pull of emotions I've felt since the day I gave birth, it was strong approaching her birthday. Feeling simultaneously proud of all she's learned and how spectacularly she's grown while deeply missing her former dependance and brand-newness. I imagine that will be one of the greatest weights I'll ever carry as a mother and I'm sure it will be with me as long as I am alive. But it's also the most incredible gift. Being able to feel this deeply. To feel both ends of the spectrum fully, at the very same time. It is a beautiful reminder that I am alive, that I am living my purpose and that I am immeasurably blessed to love this wholeheartedly.

The day Navy was born, I was reborn a mother. I emerged from her birth a woman rewired and there hasn't been a moment of this first year with her that I haven't loved my new role fiercely. Of course, there have been challenges, learning curves, worries and moments of concern about how well I'm doing. And I know those hurdles are necessary obstacles along a journey that has shaped me and will continue to. I'm just so grateful that this past year, even during moments of difficulty, my peace and contentment towards motherhood has remained constant. And that might just be one of the sweetest things I'll remember from my first year with this special little girl. 

NAVY AT 1 YEAR

Navy you are such an energetic little girl, walking with encouragement from me or daddy and crawling as fast as your little arms and legs will allow the rest of the time. You have one little tooth and the tiiiiiiiiniest skiff of hair, which we just love. You're as ready to smile as ever, happy and laughing most of the time. You like days out and on the road just as much as quiet days at home. You're a lot like mama and daddy in that way it seems. You're a flexible baby and have been since day one. If you're crying or irritable, it's because you're teething or getting sick...otherwise, you're happy as can be. It honestly surprises us when you are upset because its just so rare. We're so grateful for your sweet disposition. 

While I cook or clean up the kitchen, you empty every kitchen cupboard and play in the pantry happily. It's the sweetest little surprise when I go to get something after you've gone to bed and find one of your little toys stashed underneath the dishcloths. You're a little pro at playing independently these days. But you also love to find your favourite books in the toy box, walk them over to me, crawl up on my lap and cuddle in for some reading time. It's the sweetest and I love that in between so much activity and running around, you still like to come over to me to connect for a little bit. 

You loooooove Lincoln and say 'puppy'! every time you see him. And on that note, you have quite the little vocabulary these days. So far, you say mama, dada, puppy, baby, doggie, numnum (food), nana (banana), bunny (your favourite stuffed animal who you fall asleep holding every night) and donny (for your little electronic donkey named donny haha). 

You're a spicy little girl and you know what you want. We often say you live life with gusto, and it's true! :) I never want to forget what a happy, truly content, energetic, determined, caring, independent and sweet, sweet little girl you were at 1 year old. Love you forever baby girl. 

Poor little lady came down with Roseola during her birthday. So the big party was cancelled and a small little celebration was had at home with mama, dada and Lincoln followed by lots and lots of rest until she got better ♡